Mario looking at his travel calendar: This is like my love life. Nonexistent and doesn’t make sense.
***
When I was six or seven my sister called out, “Head’s up!” I turned around just as she tossed me a fun-sized Snickers. I watched the bar as it flew through the air towards me. Maybe you’ve experienced, or heard about, those rare moments when time slows down and you take in everything with a slow-motion clarity. That’s what happened and I remember it distinctly. I watched that Snickers float through the air, slowly rotating, as it spun my way. I watched, mesmerized, as that fun-sized candy bar grew in size and filled my vision as it flew closer and closer until WHAM! It smacked me in the forehead.
Ding! Ding! Round one goes to Snickers with a K.O.
It vaguely reminds me of what happens with me and Valentine’s Day each year. I forget what’s coming and then Bam! I get that first email with a subject like “Romantic Valentine’s Day Deals!” and then brace myself for the onslaught of Valentine’s ads, emails, and commercials that follow.
Don’t get me wrong; I hold no sour feelings in regard to this holiday – even when I’m single. Although sometimes when vendors ask me if I want to take advantage of a “Valentine’s couple’s discount” or “Valentine’s Day Special” I like to imagine that instead of saying, “No, thanks though.” I look at them with forlorn puppy dog eyes and say something “Gee, that really does sound great, if only I had someone to share it with.” [Cue: downcast eyes and dejected shuffling away.] Or I imagine grabbing a passing male and announcing, “We’ll take it!” Either thought makes me giggle.
One Sunday, last year at Valentine’s a group of us shared heart-shaped Dove chocolates at church. The inside of the wrappers had little inspirational sayings like “Happiness is celebrating the little things.” Or “Smile, today is going to be an amazing day” or “Chocolate is a gift of love” etc. Each time someone opened a chocolate we read the inside wrapper.
Eagerly, I unwrapped my dark chocolate goodie and smoothed out the tinfoil. It read:
Ding! Ding! Round two: Sunday Punch by Dove chocolate! Dove wins with a T.K.O!
Really Dove? "Be Your Own Valentine"? I’m just glad it wasn’t especially chosen and hand-delivered by a boy.
I do actually love this wrapper. It makes me laugh every time I see it - which is often, as I carry it in the back pocket of my mini-journal. Now that I’ve been amply reminded that Valentine’s is near, in a way I’m excited – hopefully I won’t be so hypnotized by what it brings that I can at least block any emotionally charged projectiles headed for the old glass jaw. Although, at Valentine’s maybe I wouldn’t mind catching one in the kisser.
