I'll Huff and I'll Puff and Huff Some More

Quote of the blog:

Brook to Gaby: Remember that one time you accidently made us huff?

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When I first moved into the city my brother and I subletted from his friends who were in Australia for a few months. Gaby came to stay with us in the two-bedroom apartment a few weeks later and the two of us shared the master bedroom. Since we were subletting and the closets and dressers were full, we lived out of our suitcases. Mine were on one side of the room by my bed and Gaby’s were lined up against the wall next to the door.

One evening, just a few nights after Gaby moved in, I was brushing my teeth when I heard a noise from the bedroom like air moving through a schrader valve on a bike tire: Kshhhhhhh. I stopped brushing my teeth and listened. Kshhhhhhhh. There was a pause and then Kshhhhhh. I couldn’t figure out what the noise might be. I rinsed and walked to the bedroom door. Kshhhhhhh.

Gaby stood next to her luggage with a tote in her hand, looking confused. I asked, “What’s that noise?” She answered, “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” She set the tote down: Kshhhhhhh. She picked it up. The noise stopped. She set it down. Kshhhhhh. She picked it up and noise stopped. She rummaged through the items inside, shrugged, and set it down again. It went kshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh until she picked it up. She looked down and went, “Oh!”

She had been setting her tote on top of her small cosmetic suitcase lying on the floor. She leaned down and lifted the top of the suitcase and clouds of grape-smelling Aussie hairspray filled the room. Somehow the hairspray lid had come off in the bag and every time she had set down her tote she hit the top of the hairspray and a stream of it sprayed inside the bag, covering everything inside. We saw a sticky river of liquid dripping from the blow dryer that was packed a few inches from the can’s valve. It was as though a giant chemical grape exploded in the apartment. A fruit-flavored tear gas grenade thrown into the room wouldn’t have had more affect. Our eyes stung, we coughed, we teared up. We opened windows but the heavy summer air offered no breeze.

Next we tried to circulate the air by fanning dishtowels but it just spread the smell. It was late and we were light headed. Gaby and I crawled into our beds and said muffled goodnights through sheets held over our noses.

Even though my head hurt it didn’t take long to fall asleep.

I woke up in the morning with a dull headache and rolled over in bed. Gaby was already up getting ready in the room. Our bleary eyes connected. She said, “I had some crazy dreams.” I nodded. “Me too.” They started with me standing at the crest of a gentle grassy green slope next to my brother Ty. We started running barefoot down the hill and grabbed hands and said, “Let’s fly!” and off we went! The flying lessons were amazing and crazy adventures ensued. I said, “All the colors of the scene were so vivid! “ Then we realized we had totally huffed! On accident! On grape hairspray!

A few days later Ty asked, “By the way, what were you guys up to the other night? It smelled like someone was trying to use hairspray as an air freshener.” Gaby and I looked at each other. “Well, it all started with a little kshhhhhhhh.”