Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wait! Was that guy hitting on me?

Quote of the blog:

Joe to me about relationships: Brook, you’re not hopeless; you’re just going through a twenty-something-year rough patch.

My friends have a lot of opportunity to mock my obliviousness when it comes to men flirting with me. A few mock/note-worthy incidents to illustrate:

About four years ago I lived in Mesquite, NV for almost a year. I was working at my brother-in-law’s mortgage company when I got a call from someone I didn’t know. The call went like this:

"Hi, this is Kagen and I'm with the Mesquite Social Advisory Board and I was wondering if you were going to Institute class tonight."

My thoughts: Oh, he's on some Institute committee and is calling a list of people about institute tonight.

Me: "I'm already planning on going. Thanks though."

Kagen: quiet pause, "Oh, ok."

Then I said, "Thanks for the call. Good luck calling people and I guess I'll see you tonight. Bye!"

Kagen: "Um, ok. Bye."

A minute later my co-worker Kevin came in and asked how the conversation with Kagen went. I was confused for a moment and then felt panic. “Omygosh! "Kevin! He was calling a list of people to go to institute, right??" I told him about our conversation. He couldn't stop laughing. “No, honey, he was calling for you. I told him he should meet you! Talk about shooting the poor kid down.”

Luckily, Kagen and I got it sorted and did go out. He admitted that pretending to call from a social committee would have been confusing, but wow, it was still embarrassing.

Just before I moved to New York I was walking through UVU parking lot with my car keys in hand. A car stopped to let me cross in front of him and the driver leaned out the window. He was square-jawed, blue-eyed, tanned, with sun-kissed blonde hair. He said, “Can I offer you a ride?” I felt a bit flattered but also confused – after all, I was in the parking lot on the way to my car with my keys in hand. I smiled and said, “No, I’m alright. Thanks though.” He looked surprised and a bit disappointed. As he drove past me I noticed he was driving a green Dodge Viper ! Wait a minute! That guy was picking up on me! Granted, I’m sure it had a lot more to do with the car than with me –but still!

Flirting wouldn’t be as bad if I only struggled realizing when men flirt with me – but I've definitely struggled on the flipside as well:

I had been in Mesquite for just a month when I learned the unfortunate equation: Freeway + hurtling piece of blown tire + the hood of my car = car in the shop. I used a rental while they fixed my car. The day I needed to pick it up a man from Enterprise offered to drive me to the garage.

It was a 25-minute drive and we hit it off, and were chat, chat, chatting. His name was Cody and he was just a couple of years older than me. He got lots of checks. Congenial. Check. Good looking. Check. Single. Check. I had only been in Mesquite for a couple of weeks and didn’t know anyone so I decide to get my flirt on. I tossed my hair, "So, what do you do for fun around here? I just moved here and don't really know anyone or what there is to do." I made a "poor-me" pouty face and lowered my lashes. Blink. Blink.

As we pull up to the garage he tells me how nice it is to meet me and asks for my number and gives me his as well. He says for sure he'll give me a call sometime. I flash a smile and tell him that would be great, toss my hair, blink blink, get out of the car and...WHACK my head on the doorframe!!!

Oh man, I wish I could have seen that...from a distance...happening to someone else. He looked concerned and wanted to make sure I was ok. I assured him I was – it was just not one of my more graceful exits.

I have so many more similar stories - more than I want to admit. I do think that I’m better at flirting and realizing when men are flirting with me now than I was then (fingers crossed). You know what they say about practice, practice, practice. Now I just need some volunteers…


  1. I am totally clueless on the art of flirting.

  2. Why are you blogging when you should be watching LOST?

    I was once the male lead in a friend's short film which was originally titled "The Flirt." (You can see it's eventual title on my IMDB page. That's right, I'm on there.)

    My character was a guy who may or may not be dead, but is definitely oblivious to a nearby flirt. Sounds about right.

  3. Hilarious! But you forgot the one about the parking lot at IHOP. ha ha

  4. Ha. Oh man, I almost included that story. That was the same night we were at the dance and those two good looking guys came over to dance with us - but we didn't know what to do! haha.

  5. I love it. Especially the end of the Cody story! Yikes!